And one for the high waves

Day is ended, dim my eyes, the journey long before me lies ... A valediction today lads on the high seas as we bury at sea the crew of the mighty and venerable warship the HMS Ivo Carnutensis, a lovely battleship and a big waggon of a gunship, but which alas was sunk without mercy by a brigade of French corvettes, the SS Elfgarcon and the SS Ignace de la Potterie that had lain in wait near the estuaries of London for the poor doomed maiden of the high seas. Yes, we take off our caps to day and sing olden songs of Tom Bombadil and Bilbo Baggins for these great ships. She didn't stand a chance, once the French got wind of her whereabouts. And a duplicitous lot the French are. Bonaparte laughing as ever, all the way back to his parisen coffee taverns, but we shall remember these great ships in a line that saw action against the interminable revolution of 1789. The HMS Hudson, the HMS Jordan, the HMS Hadden, the HMS Montmogery, the HMS Bede, the HMS Sharks, the HMS Toffalino, the HMS Lynch, the HMS Gilmore. Gawd bless 'em all.

Well there ye go

Ahoy there shipmates. It is not often that out here on the high seas one comes across a real slip of a French corvette that likes to sing along on the surface like a flying fish, but the SS Vincent Van Gogh has come into sight and I can her red enseign fluttering now clear as day through my telescope up here in the crow's nest. A nice little mover with a yaw and a keel that slices the water and leans to the left in high winds. Well done to all the petty officers on the decks of the SS Van Gogh. A nice mover. And a nice lean to the left.

Hoist the stars and stripes mateys

Aha there lads, here we are on the high seas, and there is a ship over yonder that is having a right old party, what with a few sailors and their concertinas, and that ship, saving your pardon as I am looking down me telescope, yes that ships is the Fair old English Rose, the Royal and V&A, where the shipmates are all partying on brandy and rum. Grand old time, ship drifting but at least the ship's company is having a great old craic. Martyrs Day, we are told. Or some such old English festival, probably from the time when the country was catholic, and the diktator Napoleon hadn't turned up, seized the imperial French crown from the bishops of Paris and ordained himself!!

Ahoy there

Ah shiver me timbers lads, there's always some big brute out there, waiting for Royal Navy ships of the line, and I am heading to Scotland to see if I can rendez-vous with an old brig and its sea-dog captain, the young Capt Vincenzo and his team of petty officers. Oh yass, nothing to worry about except getting up there this summer, and the occasional French cruiser corvette, like the SS Brest and her sister ship the SS Westmonster, captained by those two skull and crossbone maniacs Capt Vincente le Terrible and his trusty steed Capt Dominique la Sterne-Liverpool. A right pair of sassy tarts of ships, but devilish on the Scottish run to oblivion.

And lo and behold

Ahoy there shipmates. Twas a real creepy night out there on the old sandbanks and fogs of the Solent, when we passed out into the Channel and found our way across to the Straits of Brittany, but there she was, loomed right out of the fog, all eerie and terrible to behold - a terrible beauty borne from old German naval yards - The USS Dusseldorf. A cruel captain beating and whipping his boys and his men for the sheer sake of it all, till they submitted to his iron will. The old Captain Fritz Dollinger was no softie, no dandy, and no gentleman's pleasure. Alas for his men and his gunnery.

Shinny up the rigging laddie

Ahoy there laddies and lassies. It's a good fast run down the coast of Africa, and there not long ago south of the old Tristan, we all caught sight  like ain a dream laddies of the finest sea-going vessel in the fleet of her majesty, the HMS Royale Venerabile - a beautous ship if ever I laid me eyes on a beaut. A Bute. Even more elegant than the HMS Anima. Ah now lads, there ain't no ship of the line like the Venerabile - she is a beautiful warship with 3 decks of big guns all down both sides. What we would all give to fly those lovely colours, that union jack to be sure to be sure, but also the little yellow borgia enseign out back. Ahoy there lassies - I would do anything for love lassies, but I wouldn't do that. Nope lassies, I won't be doing that lovely graceful ship of the line. And there ain't a better captain me hearties than chief captain Vincent de Cleves, a friend of Lady Hamilton, and his able assistant Count Niccolo di Monserrato, where those fine shipmen, the black Irish hail from.

Ahoy there lads in the Capricorns

Ah lads tis but a day and hike from the old Mount St Michael of Cornwall, a long ways back to those clement sweet green shores of the old islands, but the search must go on, some old warbanger of an old fighting ship called the Temeraire Hudson, still putting out for a fight that she cannot really win. No stomach for the long campaign see, and no real stamina for the long shot back home to some port in France. All these New France battlewaggons of old steamers are a bit before their time - very smokey and very dirty - if truth be told to an audience of the French Franglais in their chateaux. Vive l'empereur! the old Hudson and his petty officer Haddon will cry as they wave their tricorn hats, but truth is me hearties is that the old boyo Napoleon will not lose any sleep for such hard cases, too brave and too fast for their own good. Napoleon is a conservative, a coward in the real battles, who will simply slide home every evening for honey and tea, and his usual secret Remy Martin.