Ahoy there

We'll shiver me timbers ye old sea dogs of the high waves, there is a rumbling out there beyond port this day, and must rigout this ship and ready her for the southern seas, around the cape and on to the Tierra del Fuego. Soon here on board this mighty man of war, the HMS Roger de Whittaker, all will be readied soon for those brackish waters. We reckon we shall have a right royale battle around the Falklands before the summer is out, while we pursue two corvettes of the napoleonic French. The SS Whit de hueck and the SS Brest have fled with Capt Tomcat Hopkins de Maryland south from the Caribbean.

Eyesore

We'll jaysu up the kyber pass we are, as we come into very stagnant waters indeed in the Arabian Sea, where we have spotted brazen as a whore in Tehran 3 frigates the burkino fasso and the fly by night and right up the rear of the first is the MV deep throat cheesle. 3 old tugs but mutton dressed as lamb. Being in Arabian seas these 3 catty sarx are used to Tunisian tugs giving them a nice shunt from behind rather than the usual pulling in a Dead Sea, but they are now staffed by a ginsa crew that is by a crowd of slave traders of the dark side. Like nappy napoleons these crews are not fighting just with human physical weapons but like diseased orcs they chain young democracies to the underworld of nappy rebellions. Like napoleons himself these are used to kids.

Well shiver me timbers

Well lads and lassies out on the high seas this week, there is a calm sea out there on the Tyrrhenian Sea and we is becalmed my beauties off the straits of Messina and Calabria - the very place where the good ship HMS Germaine was lost some years ago along with all her virtuous cargo. Still that does not stop the odd approach of some old tugboats of the French napoleonic line, the SS Lynchmob and the SS Nadine, two corvettes of the line in France who sometimes cruise this way. Rarely it has to be admitted since they have nothing in common with the Romans and the Latium Italicans, and they have no time for the pomp of such places being simply liveried like a very wooden galleon of Columbus - where their captains stay when they are in Rome. Oh yes tow old dirty tugboats - mutton dressed as lamb.

Dream on

Well there is nothing like sailing the high seas in the high summer, when the great tufts of white water make a lovely contrast to the deep blue of the waters against a blue azure sky. Yes me hearties such is sailing in the high summer. But what is this, an old ship, a cutty sark, has now steered into my eyeglass, and I can see it from a distance, a polish ship but made out as a prussian blucher style corvette with a good few guns, more than expected, and it is labelled the SS Stan le Can, a fine square rigger and what a professional crew and a tidy ship. This one is quite famous among the crews of the Napoleonic Wars because this one booted old Boney's best ship, the SS KGB out into the North Atlantic to be picked up and ravaged and wrecked by some prussian fast attack patrol frigates, led by the legendary destroyers of some swiss rebel gunners like the MV Kungfeld and the MV Schonheit, and these super class prussian destroyers were the SS Clematis and the SS Leylandii. Lovely ship the SS Stan le Can.

Aha ahoy there captains

Ahoy there me hearties and me shipmates. Out here on the coast south of Charlestown where all the tall ships are harboured nowadays and heading off into the sunset of another southern sea journey soon. But what is this - two schooners from the court of king napoleon - the SS Sherington and the SS Hudson Bay, baying at our Royal Enseigns and fluttering french and red colours on their skips, barely more than two chinese junks floating on the usual sea of debris left behind by the napoleon flagship the SS Charlatan.

Ahoy

It is 1817 and it is just a two years after the mists have cleared from the hillsides of Waterloo where Wellington our general finally outgunned Old Boney Bonaparte, while the french tyrant was snoozing and allowing his pampered egotist generals to take over the campaign on the field in the afternoon after a very full french lunch involving saucissons a la Crow de Avignon with copious lashings of Dijon moutard a la Simm. Yes the crow laden belgian hillsides were misty from the reports and retorts of the big guns. Wellington executed a trompe l'oeil and made as if to retreat and the inexperienced french generasls on the hills threw everything away into a blind rush forward. Boney lost his army because of his lazy habits. The hill of the crow on waterloo field was covered with rotting corpses and old boney was the catcher in the rye. "Have you no faith?" the marshall ney had wickedly said to Boney as the little fat guy was going for his siesta. Those hills have eyes. Those lovely bones. To be bleached by the sun. Crow was gone for a burton, though both he and boney were partial to picking over the corpses - such is the habit of tyrants. 

Ahoy there me hearties

Well splice the old timbers and keep the cannon going, there we are on the high seas again sailing south to the Falkland Islands which we have bought from the French, and there they are again, brazen as a pair of hussies or like two sluts famous all over the cage aux follies of Paris - the SS Chestle O'Black and his screaming little bi-ritual frigates, the SS Douai Fritillation and the SS Dame Edna Everard la Burkette. Three right little brazen sluts that ever saw what little action they do, since they spend all day hiding in their berths and harbours down here near Antarctica. They can't get enough of it. They always run to it, the larsen ice shelf. A bit cold for us down there where they spend most of their days and nights - cold as hell - and there they performing for all and sundry like two slut-waggons of Paris. Anything for a quick fix in Paris. Oh yeah there is no slut like a parisien one. Napoleon himself I am told often sups at those liquid poterion banquets down there - the devil's water it ain't so sweet but those frenchies get used to it. Anyway two faggot carrying barges nowadays with a few token cannons on deck - for all to see, just in case we thought they were the usual troop ships from the French prison island Devil's Island, rather than an honourable anything from the Dardanelles in Turkey. Napoleon - straight to hell.