Ye gads

Well Oi, as they say on the Algarve coast, splice the old rum sailors on the high seas, here we are coming into port today near the Azores, and there are a couple of old Russian freighters in dry dock, the MV Crippin and the MV Gabrielavich, nightmares to follow these two ships, and very fast on foot, despite their very wide keels, and wider bows. Lost at sea these types for much of the year, always on Awol alert, but somehow seem to turn up on the French side of every debate and every argument in every alehouse. Two Russian tugs really, pushing old coal about for most captains, but these two captains do know how to talk the hind legs off a donkey. Captain Willy She's-your-Man Doyle is the captain of the MV Gabrielavich and Capt Francesca Higgins-Boseyon is the captain of the second ship the MV Crippin. A first for the Russian navy - a woman that doesn't look like a man. A right pair of Russian old guard retards. HMS Repulse sounding out and away onto the 7 seas.

Aha - land ahoy

Aha am up in the Crow's Nest today lads and lassies of the line, and it is a great view up here. And splice the mainbrace, but that is land-ho, westwood ho. And there is a Usa ship that has just put into shore as well in the Bay, and it looks like the USS Remington Lancaster with her sister ship the USS Davey Crockett, nice and cosy like, in at the shore, taking on supplies and speaking to the natives of the South Sea Islands. American sailors on board in plentiful numbers, atop the decks wide open, with lots of white uniform. Oh yes the captain of the USS Remington is a very famous captain that always goes into London's west end on his shore leave every month, Captain Willie Dobbie Doyboy. Lovely guy and very well liked by the lads of the night in the centre of London's Jermyn Street. Very very popular this one. The captain of the USS Davey Crockett is less well known but a real firebrand at that sabre of his, a real slapdash hand at the old war cutlass, but very close to his captain, american Dosh Doyboy.

Odd

Ahoy there shipmates. Funny thing about these Carricks that sail around the Bay of Biscay and around Cadiz, as they all sport English colours, and are English built, but are owned by Dutch privateers and are often seen high-tailing it over the Barents sea to Murmansk after another successful season pirating from the various ships around Port Royal and the Bahamas. We have not made up our minds what to do with such corvettes and frigates, like the couples, the SS Hudson and SS Fairweather and then the SS Castleton and SS Haddon, but sooner or later Royal Navy Command at HMS Davenport by the Greenwich Naval College will tire of these posings as the very British they are actually raiding. Russians - evidently for a very very long time. HMS Castle Riding required - at least the old HMS Waterloo was dependable.

Time's up

Ahoy there lads, tis time for 3 bosons to consider the big step, walking the plank on this ship, the HMS Repulse. Captains Corbrac, Vinnie-J and Doyliebore have to consider that treachery and treason do not pay and that they are no longer wanted on the warships of the Royal Navy, especially seeing as they always go over to Napoleon's fleet every night after port when nobody in the RN is looking. And worse of all, feeding the evil POWs below decks - the most heinous treachery for these mucksters and gameshow hosts. They have taken to that Boney old corner far too often me hearties, and now 'tis time to walk that plank and feed the sharks below. Ahoy there!! Planks away.

Ahoy there me hearties

Oh yass lads and lassies of the poop deck, that was some big blow in from the South China seas, with a queer lot of cabin boys washed overboard before the captain could save those little oriental legs. A grand shame and a great loss to the Navy at this time when they is needed for the Boxer rebellion I shall say. Also the gods of Neptune are naught on these trips this weather - a right evil sea of evil intent - a troubled ocean and huge waves as high as houses rising above and over the decks. Ye crikes, ye gads, these are not grand waters for an old essex man like meself. We shall shortly be approaching San Francisco Bay me hearties and we shall put in there for a day and a jog and see what we can do to replenish our stores. Capt Peter Joseph on the deck now. A likely lad.

Ahoy me hearties

Oh yass, that was no fitting end for dear old Capt Bryant, lost overboard in the rivers of the Amazon and the south seas, while trying to save the old ship, HMS Venerabile. A bad day for business on the high seas. No trace of the old captain since found, but one never knows, maybe he ended up with the islanders on their big canoes and boats deep inside the coastline of Brazil. So we shall not see his like again me hearties, save maybe surrounded with garlands and enjoying his new life.

Ahoy there

Here we are taking soundings from the old plumbline as we approach canadian waters me hearties, me lads, me old herrings, me old soused scads. Not canada as such of course ye will understand - this is New Scotland but there are some Frenchies and bald hurons around, like the shipmates on the HMS Venerabile over yonder, if that is a real Royal Enseign they is flying. Bald as bats, deaf as coots. Terrible predicament. Lost their captain overboard, Capt Bryant, in a river-fight with the local indian innuit eskimo natives. Buried at sea - presumed dead. Vicar on board conducted the service. Venerabile distraught - like they knew the guy, like the married the chief petty officer or somat. Or somat. Up the hudson river now - sailed away maybe.