Splice the mainbrace

Anyway it is all a storm in teacup, that's what our mad captain calls this huge swell in the sea, and the ship like me old golden galleon of once upon a time at Sleaford is being smashed from pillar to post. Ah ahoy there lads on the crow's nest, do ye see those rocks off the Cape before we are all shipwrecked. Tis a long way from Portsmouth here me mateys. And a long way down to the sea bed. Alas alas, we are almost shipwrecked on these seas, and this is high summer for goodness sake. Emperor penguins galore that look like Napoleon in his pomp, but even they are looking a bit run down and scruffy and shady now. May the gods of the ancient seadogs help us through this. I hope that Wellington gets better weather than this for his invasion of Portugal and Spain and the Pyrenees.  Ahoy there shipmates.