Aha Robinson Crusoe

Well ye gads men, shivver me timbers, we have alighted by a desert island in the middle of the ocean not far from the Maldives, and there facing us are two old hasbeens waving their arms and asking for food and freshwater. Poor buggers. Chestleton Brigadier and his batman and his fag Nickelarse Fickleby, both old seadogs from the wreck of a big old glorified tug called the HMS Venerabile, so they say. The captain has gone through his old sea logs and discovered that no such ship ever appeared in battle for the Royal Navy. Maybe a russian man o'war possibly that puts in to these southern harbours for the young girls and some sailor relief. Shivver me timbers, tis two old seadogs from Russia. Special recruits from their university days. And very nicely done, on Crispian's Day too. Still under orders probably - we shall line them up and shoot them. A whole crowd of them slipped out from a mutinous ship in the East India Company once I do recall. Capt Horatio.