Aha me hearties

Ahoy there shipmates. The enemy dragoon musketeer we captured from the last skirmish in the Bay of Bisgay what with their skeleton crew on the MV Marple and the MV Burkhead and the MV Pinnocchio, is being keel-hauled today for the pleasure of the ship's company, given that we lost 4 good men in the fight sabre-to-sabre with Capt Bob Sable-sur-Sarthe leading ours, but we lost these 4 to over-hanging musket-fire from the cheats overhead in the ship's rigging on the Marple. We lost Brown of Harrogate, Rolls of Dorking, Clarke of Usk, and Keenan of Dumbchapelle - 4 good simple scottish lads in the mayne from lovely generous simple mothers, all aiming at military perfection and a good life at sea with the real Royal Navy, as opposed to a life of piracy with the frauds that the two French ghost-squadrons have become - the latest French ploy to have us all believe that there are genuine defectors to the Royal Navy out there on the high seas - actually these two-faced creep squadrons - always up the arses of the Admiralty on both sides - really do belong at heart to Napoleon, but young innocent freshmen get deceived at times and lower their muskets when they have them in their sights. So we are keel-hauling a guy called Monsieur Langridge Guy de Mau-mau-passant - found out eventually after exhaustive watching and on the French side, as ever another fiendish cabin boy of the old scheming two-faced double dealing and double pole-axing Napoleon - his best man apparently at his wedding to some cabinette near Pythagoras and his best splurge in the Bay of Biscay. Oh yes the southerners of the Mayne approaches are easily deceived - a pretty stultitious lot down south. Our own French petty officer, Monsieur de Guise, a good solid royaliste defector to Britain, knows these fraudsters from afar, as he met them many times on foreign shores in French livery before the wars of Napoleon actually broke out in the summer of 92 - where they gave themselves away with their large wads of French monnaie.  Mais oui, 1792 was a good year for the colonies under the jackboot of French imperialiste ambitions. Napoleon was always a bit of a fraudster and France given over to an orgy of blood under him and his petty tit-for-tat personalised Revolution, so much so that the good Louis XVIII had to take refuge with us at Hartwell House near Chequers De Boleyn.