Ship to shore

Well blast me old timbers and sleepers, that is a hot sun out there on a salty sea, what with all the Saltheart Dom Foamfollowers splashing around during the weekly keel-hauling of some poor misbegotten frenchie. We have one this week pulled from a french vessel posing as australian called the SS Swigger Vic which was moored under a petty officer's garb alongside with the SS Peter Joseph, and the french captain of this ship calls himself Giordano Bruno but looks like Dame Edna Everard close up - and with make-up. Honestly I do wonder at times why the old curassiers used to dress up in drag and why the french continue to appoint these odd bon viveurs of 2 left feet to their once esteemed navy. She must have joined for the sea-going agile seamen. Like so many frenchies at the Old Vec. Giordano Bruno would turn in his grave - and so would Capt Josephus i.e. Peter Joseph, of the great southern ports of Woolagong and Brisbane and Tasmania alongside Admiral Peter Elliott O'Shaughnessy and Capt Eric D'Arcy of the south seas. Anyway whatever his various aliases in the bowels of some infernal plot to destabilise the Garibaldi government and wreck the archives of Rome all the way to Paris - jolly well steal the lot as far as we can see for his fat toadie Bonaparte - we cannot verify his elaborate stories that he is just a dirty blackened seaman from some Jamaican slavery ship. We will keel haul this one - wash off the paint and black polish - and see if he comes up the other side, devoid of hammerheads and blues, with the words - wellllllll - !! Ahoy there !!